Deserving Better
Years ago, I recall watching the following interaction on a daytime talk show. The guests were comprised of a small group of women and men who had been divorced for a number of years and all remarried. After a brief interview with each guest, the host then escorted onto the set each of their former spouses, who were then asked to sit directly across their ex’s. Dialogues between the ex-couples began with the host asking each couple probing questions. The interactions were fairly predictable until one of the women asked her former husband the question: “I’ve never been able to understand this: Why did you treat me so badly?”
Without a pause, without even blinking his eyes, her ex-husband answered, “Because you let me.” He went on to tell her: “I was wondering when you would tell me to stop, but you never did, you just got more and more hurt, and I got more and more power-filled.”
Allowing
All these years later I still remember how his attitude and words disturbed me. His reply revealed a great deal about his ethics, morality, and lack of respect and concern for his ex-wife. It was clear to everyone in the audience, on the set, and those watching at home that this particular ex-husband knew what he was doing was not right, yet continued mistreating her because he knew he would face no penalty.
Awareness
The question that kept rolling around in my mind was why did his ex-wife allow the bad treatment for so long? A few days after the show was aired, I realized the enormity of that ex-husband’s statement; there are indeed people who will hurt you on purpose if you let them. Like the enormous magnetic energetic pull of steel to a magnet, sadists use their hypnotic magnetic energy to pull masochists into their web of deceit and power.
“When we believe we deserve better, we will demand nothing less. ”